Why adults have affairs?
Speak about a loaded topic that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on ever since the beginning of the world. Extramarital affairs can be filled with troubles, cause heartache, and other problems. Plus you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, money, age dissimilarity, faith upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should classify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married women.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are men seeking affairs. I am sure generally though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to switch the craving on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos the world has erected against affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but the public too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your family or anyone else? You will need to reduce the risk you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major grouping, enormous actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your finances are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a ordinary groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the male is sexually neglecting his lady for a tones of reasons. As a male I actually am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us men of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, maybe caring is disappeared, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply developed distantly, our relulas concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair